re: confusion by anonymous questioner

June 23, 2008 09:19 AM

voting has closed for this question

dear internet,

here's a scenario:

there is a guy, an ex-high school classmate who had a crush on you since you were both in tenth grade (you're 28 and 29 now). you and he hooked up three times at the tender ages of 15, 17 and 18, but each time it fizzled before becoming anything like dating, because things always got awkward. as things often do in high school.

but you remained (distant) friends throughout college days and more or less kept in touch. then you moved half the world away and didn't see him for years. the one time he was in your part of the world, he borrowed your apartment (while you were staying elsewhere) for a few days, and the two of you had a good time hanging out, though nothing weird happened. the last day, however, the dude calls you from the subway to the airport to declare his affection for you and asks you to come down for a goodbye kiss. you decline, and basically knee his ego in the groin.

that was 2 years ago. this time, you meet up again and you are both single. you actually go 'all the way'. and it is Fantastic. you spend most of two weekends together (work gets in the way during the week). you make promises to go travelling together later in the year, he says lots of genuine, nice things, and you leave for your continent. he says he is a bit of closed person but that he gets better the more he talks. you knew this already.

it's now one month since you returned from his continent. you're still really, really, really into him. but... he is crap at keeping in touch. still, he mostly replies promptly to your emails, repeating that he had a wonderful time, that he can't wait to meet up again, and asking for dates for travelling.

you're not officially 'together'. but... for some reason something feels off. it might be the fact that you've had to badger him once/twice into replying to your emails. it may also be because you've just come out of a relationship and feel a bit 'needy'. and then again, he is doing his GMAT, sleeping on a common friend's sofa, quitting his job and generally in the middle of a lot of life change.

but still.. you feel uneasy and are anxious that this guy, who you're now properly into, will do his high-school disappearing trick again, though he has said he's just busy.

so. are you right to feel so anxious?

results 29 votes

yep -- he's a total playa and will forget about you (3 votes)
 10%
nah -- he's busy, you're living far apart and are not 'together' anyway, just wait until you go travelling to see what's what (25 votes)
 86%
other (comments pleez..) (1 vote)
 3%
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comments

  • inafish says:

    I also think that the way you present the scenario the guy sounds sincere and that you should give him a chance. Going travelling sounds like a great thing to do! I understand that you're in a pretty bad position to be starting a relationship right now (what with being Continents apart), but I'd say this sounds like it's worth hanging on to.

    Jun 24, 2008 05:39 AM
  • anonymous questioner says:

    yep! he's sincere. he's written lots more now and we're making firm plans to meet up :))

    thanks for your comments!

    Jul 13, 2008 03:05 AM
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