dearinter.netbeta

dear internet,

I know this is ridiculous and unfair even before I ask. But......

I am dating a man with depression. I love him deeply. But....
There is some part of me that doesn't understand his depression. I know this is unfair, but I lived part of my life in a third world country. I saw real hardship, real bitterness, real unhappiness.

In my boyfriend, I see the dilemma of "I have a great job, more than enough to live on, a good circle of friends, a free car, a free place to live BUT I have a slight ennui and sense of drudgery about my life".

Is it unfair that I hold my boyfriends to standards of happiness that are impossible to him? I mean, he will never have to starve to death, he doesn't LIVE ON A TENNIS COURT (like a family I saw in China), he wasn't PURPOSEFULLY CRIPPLED TO EARN MORE MONEY BEGGING (like so many children and adults I saw in China)..... can he still be rightfully unhappy? Can I still be disappointed in him?
Please help!