re: Guilt and Sorrow by fiercenailbunny

July 09, 2007 12:11 AM

voting has closed for this question

dear internet,

Today, for the first time since we graduated over a year ago, my roommate from college was signed on to instant messanger. She and I have not spoken since we graduated. She has since gotten married to a man who dislocated her shoulder while we were in school and who threatened her and made her promise never to talk to me. She has had his child. I want to talk to her, but I'm terrified to because I remember one time while in college she got an instant message from someone he didn't like and he accused her of starting the conversation and talking about him behind his back. I don't want to put her in a position where he might yell at her, hurt her, or otherwise cause her or her child harm because of me, but I do want to talk to her. I miss her. What should I do?

results 32 votes

Talk to her, take the chance. Just tell her you miss her. (16 votes)
 50%
Wait for her to extend the olive branch, after all it was her who stopped talking to you. (6 votes)
 19%
Delete her name from your friends list and try to never think of her again. (0 votes)
 0%
Do nothing. Nothing you said to her before she stopped talking to you and got married made a difference. (4 votes)
 13%
No, you should . . . (6 votes)
 19%
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comments

  • Yuri says:

    Option 4 suggests that people never change - I have not found that to be true.
    Option 1 has a certain danger attached, as you have described. He might be looking over her shoulder, he might be using her account...
    Is there no other way you can get in contact with her? If she still lives in the same town, you could maybe run into her when he's not around? Or do you know someone who lives in her town?

    I find messenger conversations extremely dangerous, not only can they be so easily misunderstood, they can be "overheard" and they leave traces!

    I hope you manage to get in touch with her - she might appreciate it. and if not, then at least you have tried. Good luck!

    Jul 09, 2007 08:34 AM
  • alex says:

    You can't be responsible for other people's choices. I thonk Jonny A's got it right here. If any sort of message could be a trigger for problem, then I wouldn't risk it.

    Jul 10, 2007 01:36 PM
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