re: Turkey Day Politics by appleblossombeck

November 21, 2006 10:14 PM

voting has closed for this question

dear internet,

For Turkey Day, my dad and sister/friend are coming in to have dinner at my in laws house. My father in law and sister in law are very alike, and so they argue, a lot. They know they will, they know that it will end in hurt feelings, but they do it anyway. I only get to see my dad and sister about 3 times a year at best. In order to avoid my Turkey Day being ruined with fights, do I:

results 29 votes

Lay down a rule when everyone arrives saying no discussion of the "danger topics" (12 votes)
 41%
When they start to fight, just take my family and leave to somewhere we can talk and be away (14 votes)
 48%
Ignore them and suffer the clenched tummy and panic attacks that come from listening to people fight (2 votes)
 7%
Other (in comments) (1 vote)
 3%
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comments

  • Yuri says:

    1, then 2 - see, I am a miserable bastard.
    Hope it goes better than that for you!!

    Nov 22, 2006 05:02 AM
  • appleblossombeck says:

    Well, it's kinda funny you say that. Monday night we went to dinner there for my father in law's birthday, and they got into it, so I handed out tape for people's mouths--only half joking, really. So they fought again. Twice more, the last time with FIL getting really loud and storming out of the room. During the 2nd of 3 fights, my husband and I decided that if they didn't shut up soon we'd just leave, because who needs this? But we didn't until after the final round. And the thing is, I am a conflict-phobe to the point that the threat of them fighting is enough to keep me from going and having Turkey Day at all. Hopefully they will behave, but since when do grown-ups behave? Just look at world politics...

    Nov 22, 2006 11:52 AM
  • littlewolf says:

    Ditto Yuri.

    appleblossombeck: Family holidays (helldays) can be a source of tremendous pressure. I am exactly like you, complete conflict-phobe. I tend to move heaven and hell not to be involved in these situations. I think life is too short for the tense body, nausea, acute unhappiness, migraine-descending, that accompanies these situations. Could you possibly do a pointed remark about Thumper's Daddy telling Thumper, "If you've got nothing nice to say, don't say it"? Either way, good luck with the situation.

    Nov 25, 2006 04:05 PM
  • appleblossombeck says:

    Thanks to you both. As it turned out, I guess they got it all out of their systems during the first dinner, because Turkey Day itself went really, really well. We never even had to say anything!

    Nov 26, 2006 11:06 AM
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