re: is it rape to make love to someone who is sleeping? by Isabelle

November 18, 2006 10:21 PM

dear internet,

My boyfriend thinks it is wrong and rape when he makes love to me when i am sleeping. Ofcourse i wake up during, but he has penetrated me a couple of times when i am in deep sleep. I do not mind. I want him to be satisfied with me. I have given him permission, but still he feels like it is bad.

Is it rape to make love to me, when i am sleeping?

results 101 votes

yep (32 votes)
 32%
nah (69 votes)
 68%
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comments

  • elapheg says:

    I think as long as you have given him permission, it's ok, although if you hadn't, it would be wrong. But you seem to imply that he thinks it's wrong, and yet still does it... which I find rather worrying of itself.

    Nov 19, 2006 04:07 AM
  • solitaryascidian says:

    yeah, i can't see why he does something he considers wrong, unless he likes the "forbidden" element on the relation.

    Nov 19, 2006 09:12 AM
  • FluffyBullet says:

    I agree with elapheg, it is rather worrying that he does something he himself thinks is wrong... It's not rape if you don't mind though.

    Nov 19, 2006 04:40 PM
  • vexed says:

    Yeah, you giving him permission is kind of blanket consent (oh gods, I slay myself ), but really.
    If he's willing to "rape" you under these circumstances (sleep), where does he draw the line?

    Nov 19, 2006 09:40 PM
  • catherine says:

    It'll only be "wrong" that one time he does it when you're beat tired and you wake up pissed off because you need your sleep and you tell him to shove off and he doesn't. Otherwise, really doesn't sound like rape to me. You should do it back to him sometime though ;o)

    Nov 20, 2006 02:39 PM
  • Iseult says:

    Why doesn't he just wake you up and then go at it?

    Nov 20, 2006 02:39 PM
  • Magpie says:

    Iseult: because sometimes arousing someone so much that they wake up in a passion is more fun. ;~)

    No, I don't think it's rape. I think it's nice that he was considerate enough to really make sure you're ok with it. And the forbidden thrill may be a factor. Catherine was right, you should definitely return the favor sometime. And remember ya'll, everyone's relationship has different understandings and boundaries. He may've had a girlfriend before who felt violated by him doing that, even though he thought it'd be nice for her. Isabelle is ok with it, and I assume she likes it at least somewhat, so yup.

    Nov 20, 2006 02:54 PM
  • littlewolf says:

    Magpie: good point of view.

    Nov 20, 2006 05:40 PM
  • SamuelClements says:

    I think its fine, id love a girlfriend who was down for that, The question is how much do you like it?

    Nov 20, 2006 08:30 PM
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